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Divorced and single parents are creating new
family forms. Children of divorce say these things: Divorce forces children to confront a web of
complex relationships that kids from intact families do not have to face. Life
is not necessarily more troubled but certainly more complex. The impact of divorce is both positive or
negative for children. Children might learn to see divorce as positive if it
helped parents go on to a better lives. Many young adults who are children of divorce have
serious/troubling questions as they attempt commitment in relationships. Studies
of divorce suggest that children who look good at the time of the divorce may be
vulnerable to relationship anxiety as young adults. If children (especially
young girls) have not dealt with their own feelings and grief at the time of
their parent's divorce, they may have difficulty forming committed relationships
as adults. Symptoms often include anxiety and panic. Thoughts and feelings
unexplored at the time of their parents' divorce surface as most kids of divorce
have not had a chance to talk about what the divorce was like for them. Coming to terms with parental separation and
divorce means thinking and talking about things in new ways. There is often
unresolved grief. Often no one has asked the child, "What's this like for
you." Having an opportunity to discuss these things may be helpful:
The stress of the separation and conflicts with an ex challenge one's sense of
identity.
Learning to talk and plan with an ex-partner is confusing, at best,
And then there is the task of finding energy and attention for work and a
personal life!
Adult Children of Divorce